Today was a smack in the face. It started out fine. I had Christmas money to spend and I was determined to do so. I packed Dylan up into the car. We drove to the mall. I got to walking around looking at potential purchases. I started feeling buyers remorse. I hadn't even purchased anything. How could I? Dylan comes first. My family's needs come before mine. This money gifted to me should go to them. It was then I happened upon a friendly face. It was an acquaintance of mine. We got to chatting. She was asking about my work situation, the family, and my plans for the day. She reminded me it is okay to buy myself nice things once in awhile. I left her little pep talk thinking about her suggestion. I WAS going to do something nice for me. I checked my phone. Seeing I had a couple missed calls I went to find a spot with the highest reception. A conversation and a poopie diaper later, I left the mall with as much money as I came with. Feeling dejected for not being able to justify being nice to me, I drove home.
This season of adjustment with my husband has been extremely difficult for me. Dylan has been a game changer for us. In an effort to not turn this into a gripe fest about personal matters, I will say nothing more, except I thank those people who have helped me be more like taffy. I went searching for someone to understand tonight and found it in the words you wrote me. I am ever thankful for you. You've have given me direction. I think I'll share...
What hopes do you have?
What dreams do you have?