Wednesday, March 2, 2011

There are consequences...

I haven't written much recently. I have a lot of transition in my life right now. I'm just trying to make these changes gracefully. Some changes are positive. While others are leaving me with this feeling of being stuck in a rut.

At work, my co-workers are being shuffled around to different departments. A few of them, who I felt the most camaraderie for, are moving on with new employment. I continue to work at my deli job. I really have checked out of there emotionally. I'm past ready for new employment. I've said it before. I shall say it again. I'd like to work in a office because I don't have the degree I need to do what I really want to do. Without a degree, I'm left with a very few employment options: retail, factory work, hospitality, food service, banking or office work. If I was employed in a different retail position, I believe I'd be doing much of the same. I'd be getting similar pay for similar hours. Factory work is to difficult. I don't want to do food service! Banking is for people who are good with numbers. As you can tell, I blog and am good with words. I'd be open to hospitality because it's similar to office work.

The house hunt and life continues. Need I say more?

To sum up this rather whiny blog. I always have hope things will be well with me eventually, however the view on the hamster wheel is freaking me out. I feel the weight of being mildly stuck and leaving an honorable legacy for my future generations. I've been transfixed by my genealogy. One idea keeps ringing true to me: my choices do impact others. I am living because a few someones had children. Their choices on where they lived and what they believed have impacted me. I know little things things don't matter like what I'm going to eat for lunch or what color to paint a room. Its the larger picture. After my last breath on this earth is complete and I have joined the faithful generations before me, I want them to know I've handled their legacy with care. Yes. Indeed I do.

1 comment:

  1. Josh and I had a very similar conversation tonight... just keep doing your very best with what you have TODAY and TOMORROW will find it's way to you. I will keep praying that God will open the right door for you! Keep the faith, sis. Love, K