Thursday, November 29, 2012

What to do?

"Perhaps the hardest part of being released from prison is knowing what to do with your freedom." 

I totally agree with this statement. I spent the last 29 years of my life being told how to view the world, the people in it, and what I couldn't do to show those around me Christ. I'm having to re-learn how to relate to those I encounter- my husband, my son, my fundamentalist family, my co-workers, and my fellow church attenders. People don't think like I was was raised to think. It feels like everything that wasn't permissible before is permissible now. How do you take freedom with moderation? I feel as if I take anything from my pre-grace life, I'll be wearing a neon-lettered sign stating where I've been.

I am finding fear and grace don't mix well. I've been afraid for so long. It has become a habit for me. How to I learn to trust, instead of being afraid of being hurt again? How do I relate to this awesomely terrifying God who wants the best for me but would condemn me for unrepentant sin? 

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