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If you read my last blog post, you may be able to tell I'm rather hurt and angry at my current church situation. One minute I'm spitting bullets trying to fix the world. The next minute I am feeling guilty for not being the bigger person in private. The most overwhelming feeling I have is a numb dull ache toward all things God. I hear scripture or someone talk about the goodness of the Lord. I mentally go to to the door of my heart, shut the door, and lock up tight. Hurting sucks. I want to be free again, but only in a spiritually hospital. They can help bandage me up, give me the proper meds, and let me be on my way again. There are moments these days when the door is ajar. I attempt to let a little peace squeeze through to my heart.

As a Deer pants after water, so my soul longs after you.

This brought tears to my eyes tonight:

Trust His Heart
All things work for our good
Though sometimes we can't
See how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just can't see him,
Remember He's still on the throne

Chorus:

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When don't see his plan
When you can't trace his hand
Trust His Heart

He sees the master plan
He holds the future in his hand,
Don't live as those who have no hope,
While our hope is found in him.
We see the present clearly
But he sees the first and last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me,
To someday be just like him

(Chorus)

He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you

(Chorus)

When you can't trace his hand
When you don't see his plan
When you don't understand
Trust His Heart