Eleven hundred miles away... Bummer!

Hello Everyone!
Its quite a long month! I am working at living to my utmost. I never thought it'd be so much work. I want a comfortable, quiet, and peaceful life. I am learning that the outward environments you live in can be the start to either peace or chaos. I am cleaning out the clutter in my house in the hidden places and the catch-alls. Enter people I love 1100 miles away from me into this mindset...

This amazing young woman has been one of my best friends for the last 11 years. She has seen me through my parental drama, break ups with former boyfriends, a plethora of new dreams, graduation, several birthdays, marriage, and most recently the birth of my son.

I was so excited when she got married. She settled right into married life. It seemed to suit her. Her hubby already had the smiley young lady in blue prior to their marriage. My dear friend had a complex first pregnancy. Its been a couple years now. She is having the most difficult time with her second pregnancy. All I wanna do is help her out!!! I wanna help clean her house. I wanna be there to make her daughter's lunch and put her down for her nap. I wanna drive my friend around and just be an all around help. The best I can do is call her everyday to help her keep her sanity.

This little guy in the stripes is my newest cousin. The other boy is his brother. He was born about 4 months ago. I was super excited for his arrival! My Auntie is only 10 years older than me. Its amazing our sons are so close in age. Its like our sons are connected somehow. His 4 months of life have been one of struggle so far.  We knew my little cousin was going to have to have open heart surgery from the first ultrasound the Doctors did. The surgery was scheduled and preformed 5 weeks ago. This is him now...

Sampson on 10/13/2010. I had to post this photo after I wrote this.

My heart breaks for my Auntie, Uncle and his older brother. I wanna be there to help. They have my little cousin in a medically induced coma to keep him stable. He has had to go under the knife 2 more times since the initial surgery. He is on very heavy medications to control infections and other issues. He is being fed through a tube because he can't be held to nurse. He seems to recover just a little and then lose all his momentum. I've been praying like he is my own son because its not very hard for me to think it could be. I want so much to hear my cousin's laughter. I want to see his smile. I want to hold his tiny hands and know everything is going to be okay. I want to hug my Auntie and give her hope. I want her to be able to hold a baby, even if its Dylan, so she can know her son will be running around sooo soon! People I love are hurting. I want to be their salve.

This is my grandparents. My grandma is an incredible woman of Faith. My grandma has been a stable rock in my life. Her example has been such an inspiration, so imagine my surprise when my mom told me she went into the hospital for an erratic heartbeat. She has had this issue for several years now. Every time she goes in it is for longer and longer periods of time. They had to keep her for two days. She was given a prescription and sent home. It was two more days on the medication before she went back in for allergic reaction to her medication. It put her heart at risk. She had to stay over for another two days to make sure everything is okay. She is doing fine now. So much is happening so far away! I want to be there!

I very rarely regret my decision to move so far away, yet I don't think I could live in my hometown again. It is hard when so much is happening so far away from me. Family is everything to me after God. I know I could help. I could be effective there! I want travel to be cheaper. Stink! I am trying to do my best where I am at and be content with it. I don't have the money to travel, so I will continue to clear clutter and shine my sink. I hope with that work peace, quiet, and comfort will come...